Mastitis: Warning! Sick woman stuff in post. Do not read if you don't want to hear about breastfeeding and such.

For any of you who wouldn't know what this is (and I wouldn't blame you) its an infection that a woman can get in her breasts. It usually only happens to lactating women. Lucky me, I got it.
I started feeling really cranky and rundown last night. I just assumed it was sleep deprivation. That is a big thing in my life right now. Well fast forward to about nine or ten and I start feeling awful. My breast is feeling like I might have a clogged duct. Its hard and painful.
Then I start feeling cold. Like really cold. Now the one thing you should know about me is that I suffer in a very warm house. Well warm to me. We have the AC set at 70 and I still feel hot. So the fact that I was cold was a huge deal.
I take my temperature and its 100 degrees. So its not a super high fever but it is a fever. I knew at that point that I had mastitis. I did all the tricks to relieve some of the pain and discomfort of my breast and I tried to get some sleep. That really didn't work. I was miserable. I checked my temp again and the fever had shot up to 101.7.
Kevin was so worried. We really had no clue whether or not I could still nurse Eliza. I knew that I wanted to though because she would essentially drain me. Literally. Which is a good thing. The question was could I nurse and she would be fine or would I have to pump and dump all of that milk? Breastmilk is like liquid GOLD. No one likes to dump any out. Even spilling some is awful and frustrating. Its not like we produce gallons of the stuff. We produce ounces at a time. Mere ounces.
Imagine my relief when I found out I could still nurse! I took some Tylenol as well and before too long my fever broke. So things were looking up. This morning I called my doctor's office and they called in a prescription for an antibiotic. Hopefully it kicks in really quick.
I'm still feeling run down and very tired. My body still aches and I don't want anything touching my breasts. Too bad I don't have that option. Eliza has no idea that anything is wrong obviously and she's just a champion feeder like always so its pretty painful to nurse right now but it helps so I'm ok with it. Or at least I'm trying to be.


Update on Eliza. She's amazing. She's so much fun. She's more alert and she is just smiling up a storm. I love it. She is awake and happy from about 7 to 9 in the morning and its our play time. I sing and tell stories. I know she doesn't really understand anything that I'm saying but we have fun. I found a great website to help with this time. It has over 2000 nursery rhymes and children's songs. I was really lacking in the memory department. My mom always seems to have this plethora of songs and nursery rhymes and I was feeling quite inadequate when I pulled from the three songs I knew. The website is www.bussongs.com if anyone is interested.
I think the most shocking realization is how many of these songs and nursery rhymes are really dark and depressing. I had heard that in the past but to see the lyrics and put the story together is really disturbing. I'm glad kids just don't comprehend the real story in these songs and rhymes.
That's about it for now. I want a nap. Oh but I'll show you the adorable smile my daughter rocks. Its hard to capture on camera so her hand is in the way a bit but you can still see it. Enjoy! I know I do.

One month old already!

Say what? That's ridiculous. We've had a great month. Little miss Eliza is growing like a weed and keeps me entertained endlessly. I can just stare at her for hours. I don't though. That might come across creepy later in life.
I can just see it now. "Eliza, I used to just stare at you for hours."
Teenage Eliza looks at me like I have crazy pants on and then calls her friends on her holographic phone and says, "Ugh my mom is so creepy and weird. She is so embarrassing."
Heck yes I am! She just doesn't know it yet. I can't wait until the day I get to kiss her goodbye in public. Use saliva to wipe her face and so forth. Ha ha! It's going to rock.
Ok so for some real stuff. Had Eliza's one week appointment she was only 6lbs 1oz so we had to go in the following week. Thankfully she was 6lbs 5oz so she was doing great. I took her in today for some acid reflux issues and she weighed a hefty 7lbs 10.5oz! That is more than an ounce a day on average. The doctor was VERY pleased. She said she is obviously getting plenty of food. Also, her reflux isn't very bad so there isn't much we need to do. Which is also good news.
I'm going back to work on June 14. I am really looking forward to working again but at the same time I don't want to leave my baby. I know she'll be fine I will miss her so much. I don't want to miss any milestones. Another thing about going back to work is that I really want to breastfeed for awhile. I don't want my supply to tank because I will be pumping instead of nursing. Because of that my goal right now is 3 months. I hope to make it until at least 6-9 months. I know she would be fine on formula but I really want to do this.
That's it for now! I'll try to post more often. She changes so much everyday that a month going by is a long time. Until next time I hope you enjoy the pics.

Monkey toes!

First bath. She was not happy. She still doesn't like them.

That ceiling fan is super exciting!

She's just that cute!

How is that comfortable?

I totally had a baby!

So Friday afternoon Kevin and I decided to get buffalo wings with a friend for lunch and walk the mall. Spicy foods and walking to induce labor. I didn't think these things would actually work! But they did!
I started having horrible painful beyond anything I had ever felt in my life contractions that night at about 4. This is after days of contractions and early labor. I had gone to the hospital on the 17th and the 20th. Of course I got sent home. The contractions those days weren't doing enough to justify keeping me in the hospital. But these new contractions were coming every 3.5 to 5.5 minutes and had me sobbing. I kind of knew this was something else. It had to be it. So I made Kevin take me to the hospital. Of course as we are packing everything up the tornado sirens go off. We live in St. Louis. The hospital that we were going to was about 10 minutes from the airport. Perfect timing no? So we get to the hospital without getting blown off the road and walk in and I'm totally drenched from the storm. I SO didn't care what I looked like.
We get up to L&D and they check me and there had been NO progress. I just about lost it. How could there be no progress? That's ridiculous! But thankfully my doctor was the one on call and so she said to hook me up and monitor my progress and set me up with an IV and the antibiotics for the group B strep infection I had. This is about 8. At midnight they check me again and still no progress. They had me there for the night anyway so I asked for an IV drug. They gave me Stadol and that really helped me relax and get to sleep. At 2 I'm feeling totally loopy and out of it but I asked Kevin to help me use the restroom. As he's unhooking the monitors I sat up and "peed" the bed. I was so embarrassed! I call the nurse and let her know but I still felt the need to use the restroom so I get to the bathroom and the nurse comes in and asked did you pee or did you rupture. In my loopy mind I was convinced I just peed. So I told her that and then she said, "nope that's a rupture. You have to get back in bed NOW." They worry about cord accidents once that happens so I wasn't allowed to get up again. One of the nurses I had seen just days before was there and in my loopy drug induced state I said, "I get to stay!" She just laughed at me.
They checked me at that point and I had FINALLY progressed from a 2 to a whopping 3cm. But it was a change and a water break so I knew I was going to have my baby! They gave me more Stadol when I was allowed and I was able to go back to sleep. At 6:30 or 7 I was started on pitocin because there was meconium in the fluid and I was still at a 3. I asked for the epi at that point and I was able to get back to sleep at about 8:30.
At 11:30 or 11:45 I told the nurse that I was feeling a LOT of pressure. She checked and I was at a 9! At noon she checked again and I was complete. They called the doctor to come back and she got there at 1. I pushed for 15 minutes and little Elizabeth was born!
I have a 2nd degree tear and 3 stitches. My back really hurts from the bruising the epi inflicts but other than that I feel really good! The nurse said I'm healing really well and I've only had to take ibuprofen twice. It definitely could have been worse.
Elizabeth is fantastic! She weighed in at 6lbs 2oz and 19in long. She has quite the set of lungs on her. Even the doctor and nurses were talking about how vocal she was. She was not a happy baby to be born. She scored great on her AGPAR and she hasn't left my side at all. We have been able to keep her with us at all times. So far she doesn't have any signs of jaundice which was a concern given her gestational age. Almost 2 weeks early. She's fed several times and although its painful to me I'm trying to get the hang of it. She has had a few moments of forgetfulness of what she's supposed to do when she gets latched but she's getting better with every consecutive feeding. I have a great nurse who is also and lactation consultant. This little girl's such a trooper. She had a rough day yesterday so I can't blame her for being a bit forgetful sometimes.
That's about it for now. I'll update more when we get to take her home tomorrow. I can't believe that just a little over 24 hours ago this perfect little angel was living inside of me. I'm so truly blessed to have this girl as my daughter and to have such an amazing man for my husband and her daddy. She's a great Easter present. Just one more thing to be thankful for on this day. The Lord really loves me and I'm so thankful for all of the blessings He has given to me.
Now for your viewing pleasure, Ms. Elizabeth Josephine Jokela.

Today was my original due date

Do you guys remember these posts? #1 #2 and #3? Well today was my original due date. At six weeks along I lost the baby. Today was the day my baby would have been due.
I didn't know how I would handle the miscarriage. Its not something that a woman gets over. Not really. I fell in love with that baby the first time I saw that second line on a pregnancy test. It does get easier but its still a loss. I still cry once in awhile about that baby. I had a breakdown at Babies R Us while I was registering. I met a woman whose daughter was pregnant and due in March. I then turned a corner and saw little newborn outfits for St. Patty's day babies. I just lost it. The loss is very real and very hard to get over.
On the one hand I miss that baby terribly but on the other hand I am so fortunate to be pregnant now with our little Elizabeth. We are truly blessed to have this child.
That miscarriage in a way was a blessing. It made my relationship with Kevin so much stronger. He is truly my rock. He was there for me to cry on. He was understanding and sweet. I know he felt the loss as well. It was hard on both of us. I didn't want that trial in my life but I was able to grow from it and learn so much about myself, Kevin and our life together as a couple. That's a blessing.
I know things happen for a reason. God has a plan. He gives us trials and struggles so we can grow and become stronger. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. He loves me. He loves my family and he has blessed us with the opportunity to expand that family. I'm thankful for that.
Today is a bittersweet day.

Dear non-pregnant person

I have no idea who wrote this but I love it. I'm just thankful I don't have to hand these out to everyone I know. Maybe just a few of the paragraphs to some people:

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice:

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,
All the Pregnant Women in the World

General update

I went to the doctor last week and she said I no longer have to be on bedrest! So exciting. The contractions have stopped so she didn't feel like just the one risk factor (position of baby) was enough for bedrest. She did say I have to take it easy but its so much better than bedrest. I can do stuff again!
We painted the nursery this past weekend and the room looks great. Its a really pretty yellow color. I found some great vinyl wall decals that I would love to use but they are so expensive I've decided to paint a mural instead. Hopefully it looks as good. Its going to be a tree with some cherry blossoms drifting in the wind in pink, blue and purple. There will be one or two birds perched in the tree as well. It should be really cute.
We bought the fabric for the curtains and cribskirt. I also bought some extra of that fabric for a quilt. If I had gotten those three pieces by themselves I would have spent so much more money. I love being crafty. I got the pattern for the nursery pieces on sale for 99 cents. Its usually 16.95! I was also able to get all the main fabric on sale. Some of the other fabric for the quilt was also on sale so we ended up saving about 40 dollars on the materials. What a steal! While I was on bedrest I started working on a blanket I bought yarn for back in October. Its turning out great and I'm already more than halfway done. With only eight weeks left I've got to get crackin' on this stuff.
The general theme of the nursery is really just a soft, feminine spring. I want it to be bright and sunny all year round like you are walking into a garden. Other than that I really don't have a theme. Flowers and birds I suppose. People have asked what the theme is and I really don't have much of an answer. Its hard to explain. Do I just say its a garden? That's a little odd in my opinion.
I'm going to post pictures of the room so far and the fabric. Hopefully I can pull it all together soon. The first pic is the wall color. It looks a little dark here but you get the general idea. The second is the fabric. I love it. Its just so pretty. The last picture is the general mural idea. I wish I could afford to get a vinyl decal but I can't. It looks great though so if anyone is interested I'll give you the link to the etsy shop.

General idea for the mural. Thank you to Etsy. I wish I could afford it.

Good news at the ultrasound

So last week I let you all know about my lack of weight gain and measuring small. The doctor wanted us to have a growth scan to make sure the baby is getting all the nutrients she needs. Yesterday we went in for that scan. Good news! Not only is the baby happy and healthy but she is measuring right on track! She's even measuring a few days ahead of schedule. She weighs a healthy 3lbs 5oz. The scan did confirm how very low the baby's head is already. She is ready to make her appearance. Modified bedrest continues.
It's hard to believe that I have a little human inside of me. At the anatomy scan nine and eleven weeks ago she looked like a little baby. Which is what we wanted but yesterday she not only looked like a little human but she looked so CHUNKY compared to the other scans. I know her job right now is to get fat and gain weight but its so weird to see an almost fully baked baby. Not just see it but know its inside of me and I get to take her home in a few short weeks.
In other news, we started working on the nursery! We got the paint and have started clearing out the room. Ok I haven't started clearing out the room but I'm good at directing where things should go. I'm not allowed to do much so I don't feel too guilty about it. We bought and painted the letters to go on the wall for the nursery.
Now on a more serious note, I really thought the scared anxious feeling would go away when I came this close to the end. Lots of women have this feeling early on in their pregnancy. That's why there is this idea of you don't tell people you are pregnant until 12 weeks. No guarantees. But like I said I really thought it would go away over time. However, every time I have an appointment with the doctor or an ultrasound I'm still afraid something will be wrong. Maybe its because of the miscarriage last summer or the scares we've had so far but I can't help feeling this way. For example, yesterday when we went to the scan I was afraid that the cord would be wrapped around her neck. Seems irrational right? Except that there are no guarantees. I do believe this little girl will be a very welcome addition to our home but anything can happen and I can't help but think about that. I'm not ashamed of this. It's just a confession/ observation. I want the next 6-9 weeks to go by quickly.
Now for your viewing pleasure, my chunky baby and the beginning of our nursery decor.

 

No more strict bedrest!

I had my appointment today and because my contractions have pretty much stopped she decided modified bedrest was fine. YAY! The baby is still really low so she doesn't want her to descend even further but I'm still closed so that's good. She's hopeful that I can make it to 36 weeks. I'm hoping for even longer. 38 sounds good to me.

She said I can leave the house once in awhile but to for sure limit my activity and take it easy.

Other things, it looks like I'll be going in every week or two from now on to keep checking the cervix. She's concerned about my weight gain because I'm not gaining any. Finally, she measured me and she is concerned the baby is small. So I have to get an ultrasound.

She asked Kevin if I was eating enough and he completely thew me under the bus. I eat! I may not eat as much as him but I don't know anyone who could. I love that man but way to support me hon.

Oh and she said that if I were working right now she would make me quit so I guess all the problems I was having finding a job and how down I was about it was actually a blessing in disguise. Maybe there was a higher power saying "you can't work if you want a healthy baby."

That's how I am choosing to look at the work situation. It may be difficult financially but we'll get through this and have a beautiful baby girl when we come out the other side.

One last thing, I have a 30 week belly pic for you! I'm ginormous!

Exciting trip to labor and delivery

Maybe exciting isn't the right word for it. Irritating? Annoying? Frustrating? All good words. Needed is probably the best word.
So for those who don't have their lives revolve around me and my pregnancy I will be 30 weeks along on the 23rd. (which means I only have ten more weeks and I can't wait!) Yesterday I was having some pretty uncomfortable braxton hicks contractions. The general consensus is that if you have more than five or six an hour then you need to lie down and drink a lot of water.
So I started having some at about 5:30 yesterday evening. I did my rest and drink some water thing and they didn't go away. At first it wasn't too bad. Two or three an hour. By about 8:30 I started having a lot more. I was feeling them one right after the other and had probably five in a half hour.
Kevin made me call the after hours number and speak with the on-call doctor. He told me I really needed to go into the hospital and get checked out. I was really against this. I didn't want to go in. I've gone in before and its always nothing. We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the monitors. The baby is just fine. She was active and her heartbeat was really strong.
I on the other hand was not doing so hot. Turns out I was really dehydrated and the baby was already in the right position and low. Its a little early for that. The monitor wasn't picking up the contractions very well either. That was frustrating because I wanted them to see what I was feeling and how often.
The doctor sent me home after making me drink a bunch of water. About 96 ounces actually. I was going to the bathroom every hour all night. Doesn't make for a pleasant nights sleep. She also made me go on bedrest. Its sooooo boring. I'm allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and to refill my 32oz cup of water. If I'm home alone I can go to the kitchen for a sandwich but that's the extent of my day for the foreseeable future. Oh goody.
I go into the office on Thursday to see if I have to continue the bedrest. Hopefully I don't. I need to get the nursery done and I need to get some laundry taken care of before this little girl comes along. I know I still have ten weeks but if I'm required to take it easy or more until she gets here its going to take that much longer to get it all done.
I feel fine. I'm still having some contractions but they have slowed down and I'm being good. Drinking lots of water and doing my job of staying put. I decided to finally get back to working on the afghan I started working on for Elizabeth back at 11 weeks. If I actually finish it before she arrives I will post pics. Its going to be adorable if it turns out right.

Its only been 4 months-ish

That's only almost half a year. Not much happens in that amount of time right? Lol. Ok so I've been a total slacker but I promise to update regularly from now on. Lets start at the very beginning. Thankfully I've been a bit more diligent about writing in my personal journal so at least I can pull from that and hopefully I won't leave out the important bits.


As you all know the last post was exciting because we were able to see our baby for the first time. That was wonderful. The following month was a bit crazy. We packed up and moved back to St. Louis. That in and of itself was hard. I never want to move across the country while pregnant again. It was ROUGH. I mean utterly awful when I say rough. I was super tired and just wanted it to be over.

One of the things that most concerned me was finding a new doctor or midwife. I would have loved to get another midwife. I had such a good experience with the practice in Utah that I was hoping for the same atmosphere with a new office. Thankfully I succeeded and I have a doctor I love. Go me! I decided to see if the doctor I had before I moved would be able to see me and she could. One of the best things about her is that not only do they already have me in the system but because of the medical park atmosphere my general practitioner is on the same floor as well as the pediatrician we plan on using. How could it get any better than that? I can just schedule all of our appointments on the same day and just never leave them alone.

Another thing I love about my doctor is that she was willing to listen to what I wanted for the birth. Now I'm not one of those crazy hippie birth plan people but I do have specific things I do or do not want for my labor and delivery. Obviously the baby may not have the same ideas I do but I see nothing wrong with trying.

When I was 20 weeks along I went in for the all important anatomy scan. I have very strong opinions about this scan. For a lot of people its as simple as "we get to find out the sex!" For the doctors its "lets make sure this baby is healthy." I agree with the doctors on this one. Yes, finding out the sex is fun but when the doctor came in and said they found something on our baby's heart it was the last thing on my mind. The doctor told us there was an echogenic focus on the baby's heart which is an indicator of downs syndrome. We decided to get additional testing called a quad screen so we could have more definitive results and thankfully our baby is just fine.

Additionally during the scan our baby was being quite stubborn. They weren't able to get all of the measurements. The spine, lip and sex was hidden from view. They did say they were pretty sure because of a small glimpse that it was a girl but it was still just a guess. Now this was right before Christmas and Kevin and I had decided that we were going to tell the family on Christmas Eve by baking gingerbread cookies. Little boys or girls. We decided to go ahead and bake the cookies based on what the doctor said but I ended up ruining it before I brought out the cookies anyway. Reveal idea fail. The baby kicked me and someone asked me what was wrong and I said, "Oh she just kicked me." Of course they all picked up on the she. The cookies tasted good at least.

We went in at 22 weeks for our additional scan and we got all the measurements and confirmed it was indeed a girl. As much as I thought it was a boy I am over the moon excited about having a little girl. We've decided to name her Elizabeth Josephine and want to call her Eliza. Some have said that her name is too common. Too normal. I don't care. I love the name. Its classic and timeless. Heaven forbid we pick a normal name. Call me crazy but trendeigh and youneek names are not my style. I don't feel the need to pick a name no one knows how to spell or can't pronounce. Call my boring. I'm ok with it.

Not much else has else has happened. A few of my favorite things about being pregnant are feeling her move around and watching my stomach. She is spunky and very active. I have to admit I like the attention I get from my amazing husband. He is caring and sweet. He is always willing to help me up or get me something I might need. He may grumble or moan a bit but I know I can count on him.

My least favorite things is much longer list that I will not bore you with. Ok I'll name a few. The horrible sciatic pain. OH MY GOSH! I've been feeling it for weeks. Since about 22 weeks actually. Six weeks of this and I'm not expecting it to go away so I'm not looking forward to the next three months. Oh and those little tricks and tips you get from pregnancy books don't work! I've tried them. You just suffer through it knowing you get a beautiful baby at the end of it. I keep telling myself its worth it. I do know that. Doesn't stop the tears of pain coming though. The no sleeping thing sucks too. I can't get comfortable. Ever. At all. To top it I'm always exhausted anyway. So yay for that. I can't sleep and I'm tired all the time. Having to go to the bathroom four thousand times a day. That's so annoying. Ok I'm done complaining.

Hopefully you all feel pretty well caught up. I promise to update more often and those posts will be shorter and more normal. In the meantime enjoy the few pictures I've taken in the time between posts.
My camera broke so 26 weeks was the last pic I was able to take. Hopefully we'll get that fixed soon. Thanks for reading this incredibly long blog post!