We're pregnant again

  This time I think we will get to bring our baby home. I'm due on May 4th. We are really excited. We found out in August and tried to keep it quiet just in case something happened again. So far everything is going really well. I am 9 weeks today and even though I've had some nausea and some awful bloat and exhaustion I am just so happy to have this little spud growing inside of me. Kevin and I were able to have an early ultrasound last Friday and when we saw that heartbeat on that tiny little baby the emotions were just overwhelming. We are truly blessed. I've been taking a picture every Wednesday to show the progress and my gosh! Today my tummy is out of control. I'll post them here every week. I think tomorrow I'll do a montage of the weekly belly pics so far.
  In other news, Kevin and I are still planning on moving. We've booked the moving truck and we officially leave in less than a month. Wow! There is so much to do and just no energy to do it. We are really excited to be in St. Louis before Halloween though. I have never seen my nephew Xavier dress up because I've been out here in Utah since he was a few months old. All my nieces and nephews are adorable and I can't wait to see them. I haven't even met my adorable new niece Rileigh. I just can't wait to see everyone again. Its only been 7 months but it feels like so much longer.
  Kevin also has a gig with his band next week. Its their first gig and hopefully not Kevin's last before we have to leave. Just call me Yoko. I hope Kevin can find another band when we get to St. Louis. He loves his music so much. I would hate to deprive him of that aspect of his life.
  Ok that's about it. Now for your viewing pleasure; our Spud. I have another appointment tomorrow so I may post a brand new u/s pic tomorrow or Friday.

I know its been forever since I last posted

I've been waiting for something important to write about. I think I finally found it. Tonight is the season premier of GLEE! Gah that's so exciting. I seriously love this show. It is witty and clever and the cast is so talented. I wish I could sing like that. Its incredible. Kevin has band practice tonight. Although I love my husband and his music I think I will be at home watching Glee instead. They don't need a groupie hanging around during practice tonight. That's really all that I am. I have no musical talent. Therefore I enjoy watching others with musical talent. In the form of the husbands band or an amazing television show. I'm picking the television show tonight. Sorry Honey. I still love you. My name is Staci and I am a Gleek.

Quick update

Well there's not a whole lot to update on but I thought I would say a few quick things.
Kevin and I have decided to move to St. Louis. We are going to miss everyone in Utah a ton but its just such a great opportunity for our family. He would be able to go to school and we would be able to save money. Our plan as of right now is to go to school and once he is done to head back out here. Its a compromise. I love my family but so does Kevin and he would be across the country from them. That's not totally fair. I wish in a way we weren't both transplants to Utah but I know we wouldn't have met if we weren't. So we leave in November. Not so far away. We have to give our landlord sixty days notice on our apartment. We would probably try to move out there in October if it weren't for that because of the weather. To be honest though, I'm glad I have the extra time. I need it to pack. We have a lot of crap and its going to be exhausting. I need that extra time so I can do a little every week.
Kevin's parents are coming to see us this week! They will be here on Friday and so we are pretty excited about it. I'm not sure what kind of activities we will be doing but its going to be fun. Maybe we will take them to downtown so they can see all the sites. I know they would like that and we didn't get a chance when they were here for the wedding.
Ok that's about it. Sorry its been awhile since posts. There just hasn't been a ton happening. Hope you all are well!

Spiders, pies and family

Odd combination. I agree. Its been a busy week so I'm just going to stuff this post full of everything.

Spiders: I hate them. I hate them so much that when I see one my body involuntarily runs away. The whole fight or flight thing? True. I flight. I'm ok with it. It's natural. It's normal. It's cowardly. I'm a big baby and I embrace that. K on the other hand is my knight in shining armor. He kills them all for me if he is home. Just this morning at 6:30 I nearly had a heart attack because a spider almost ate my hand off and he woke up for me and killed it. As he was coming to my rescue, hair askew and bleary eyed he comments, "oh that is a big one." He dispatched it and the world has continued to go on for me. This is the third spider he has killed in the last few days. I can't imagine my life without him.

Pies: A much better topic if I must say so myself. I love pie. I am not a cake person. Just last night the family celebrated my cousin's birthday with a very rich looking, chocolaty goodness, two layer cake. I didn't eat any of it. I just don't care for cake. Its not like it makes me sick or repulses me or anything I just prefer pie. Pie, its like a little slice of perfect. Pie is this sweet, light, fruity deliciousness. I can't get enough of it. So a few weeks ago I bought the ingredients to make a pie. It's summer and I decided a lemon meringue pie sounded perfect. I made it the other night and I couldn't be more happy with the way it turned out. Those little peaks of meringue are perfect. The lemon filling that you can't see is delicious. I'm very happy in my lemon meringue world. I might eat a slice for breakfast. That's not a bad thing right?

Last but certainly not least, Family: My parents are in town. They come out at this time every year and I look forward to it every time. I miss them tremendously. I know its only been three months since I saw them and only two months before that but they are good and generous people. I appreciate what they do for me and will miss them when they leave.

This week they have given K and myself an opportunity to move to my home town. We could live in my late grandmothers house and take care of my uncle. He has cerebral palsy and is self sufficient enough to live on his own but he doesn't have people he can talk to very often. He doesn't really know how to cook very much and he could benefit from some home cooked meals. K and I would live there rent free. Utilities paid. Cable and internet provided. We would be responsible for the upkeep of the house and the groceries. K would be able to go to school full time and we wouldn't have to worry about finances really. We would be able to save some money and get done with school faster.

We are seriously considering this offer. There are cons. We would be moving far away from K's family and I know that would be disappointing. We would have a responsibility that is great. My uncle is a great guy but it's like living with a teenager. A teenager who feels the need to be an authority figure to me. He is the uncle after all. It will take patience and understanding. It will also take love and we have plenty of that to give.

You have a Christmas face

"I love your face. It makes me feel fuzzy. Fuzzy like Christmas. You have a Christmas face."

So said my husband last night. He's so cute. I mean really, Christmas face?? He makes me laugh so much. He just makes my life better.

I went to see my midwife today. I wish I had met her under better circumstances but I really like her. She said everything is looking good and we are fine to try again as soon as we are ready. K took the day off so he could be there with me and I am really glad. I needed him. I was dreading the appointment because I knew it was going to be hard on me. He truly is my rock and I can't wait until we can start our family.

We have more good news in the family as well. My brother and his wife welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world yesterday. Mommy was in labor for 23 hours and ended up having a c-section. Rileigh Marie was born at 11:10 pm and was 8lbs 3oz. She is 22 inches long and looks a lot like her mommy. Mommy and baby are doing well from what I have heard. I can't wait to meet little Rileigh. She is a very welcome addition to the clan.



Rileigh Marie 08/09/10

Its a mad world out there

So I finally left the house the other night. I went with K to his band practice. It was thoroughly distracting and it did help. Besides one insensitive comment it was a good evening. The delicious artery clogging McDonald's probably helped as well. We don't eat a ton of fast food in our house. It was a nice treat. I played Yahtzee and watched over an adorable toddler. I'm glad I chose that day to come out of the house and do something. I have been feeling better about everything since then. We even made plans for a group date type thing on Sunday. We are going to have people come over and have dinner with us. I'm looking forward to it.
In other news, our one and only car is giving us problems. We thought it might be the fuel filter so we replaced it and it turns out it wasn't the fuel filter. We plan on replacing the air filter and spark plugs next. If that doesn't fix it then its onto the oxygen sensors. I really really don't want to deal with a broken car right now. Its just one more stress that we don't need.
Speaking of stress, I feel like we aren't catching any breaks right now. I'm trying to look at things in a positive light but its hard when things are happening left and right. We will be fine. I know that. I also know that the trials we are facing are only going to make us stronger. We can't know joy without first knowing sorrow. I know this. I just want the joy to happen soon. I really really know sorrow. Maybe I'm just complaining too much. Its just hard to have these trials and not know the Lord's plan. There is a reason we are going through this but I find it hard to cope when I don't see the direction. The path is there but I don't know where its leading us. We just have to get through all this and then we can look back and see the reasons.

Listen to my playlist

I added music to my blog! It took awhile and I feel stupid for not knowing how until now but at long last I have music. I'd like to thank playlist.com for the music player and to all the artists who will never see my blog for contributing their talents. Music is a big part of my life and I wanted that to be evident to people when they visited my blog.
I married a musician and even though I can't play a single note on any kind of instrument I am always amazed and awed by the talent of others. My husband is one of those great talents. Music is his life. If he could eat, drink, and breathe music he would. He says he loves me more than music which means he loves me to the most vast and far reaching distances in the universe. He loves music that much. As soon as I can I will add his music to this playlist. He is just a renaissance man and I couldn't have asked for a better person to marry.

The most amazing support system in the universe

I love my family and friends. Its been a really tough week and I know I wouldn't have been able to get through it without my support system. Even though I haven't been able to leave the house or talk to anyone really I received phone calls, text messages, emails, comments on facebook and on this blog. They have helped me so much. I have felt the love and concern from my friends and family.
Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to extend my family by a lot. A whole lot. Let's be honest, there are a million of you. I love them all. They were so welcoming and loving. They have made me laugh and cry (but never in a "we hate you and wish you weren't here" kind of way) and I just can't wait to see them all again and get to know everyone even better.
The biggest support I have however is my husband. He is truly the most amazing man I have ever met. He has been there for me in ways I never thought possible. He has been my rock. I think if it weren't for him I would have starved to death or just died from a broken heart. He has been there to hold me when all I wanted to do was cry. He has been there to make me laugh when I haven't found much humor in anything. He has helped me clean the house when I just didn't care what it looked like. (people are welcome to stop by now) He makes me happy.
If I can take anything positive out of this experience (which is very difficult) its the confirmation of love from others. I know now that I have people I can turn to. In an unexpected way this has brought me closer to my husband. We can get through anything if we can get through this.

I'm starting to get my life back

Its been a really hard week. I haven't really left the house at all. Geez that just seems pathetic as I'm writing it. I didn't do anything at all productive. K hasn't complained at all. He says I have an excuse. I can see where's he's coming from but it's made me feel like a bad wife. A lazy bum really. So yesterday I finally just did something. It wasn't a lot. Just a load of dishes but it was a start. Then I made dinner. That made me feel better. Today when I woke up I did some laundry, cleaned the kitchen and picked up the bedroom. Its the beginning of my road back from this awful thing that happened to us. I'm still really upset and heartbroken. I miss my baby but life needs to go on and living in a clean house is going to make that a little easier.

Yesterday was a rollercoaster

I started bleeding and cramping yesterday. I've lost the baby. K and I are devastated. I know in my head that sometimes this is for the best but it hurts in my heart so much. I didn't think I could love something for only a week as much as I loved this child. There aren't really words to express the heartbreak. I never understood the loss when people said they miscarried. I was always sad for them but until you experience it yourself you can't fully understand. We will try again in a few months.

So much can happen in a week

When I started this blog I just thought it would be about my life with K. All our crazy adventures. That's still true but I guess its mostly going to be about the craziest adventure we will ever have.

Last Monday night after a few days of suspicion I took a pregnancy test. I thought maybe I was pregnant on Saturday the 17th (the day I started the blog) but I took a test and it was negative. I guess that was just a little too early. The test on Monday was positive. I took a digital test on Tuesday to confirm and it was there plain as day "Pregnant."


I cried like a baby. Maybe a better term is I cried like a hormone crazed pregnant chick. That just seems too long though. I find myself crying over everything. I also have no energy. I 'knew' when we started trying to get pregnant that I would be full of hormones and I would be tired, nauseous, bloated and sore. A woman knows all of this. In theory. The reality is so different. At least for me it is. I had no idea quite how tired I would be. I have no energy to do anything. I have no appetite either but if I don't eat then I feel nauseous and want to throw up. In fact just a few minutes ago I had to stop writing and get crackers so I wouldn't puke.

This is all so new and exciting and I am willing to go through all of this for my baby. I didn't think I could love something so obscure so quickly. I will be devastated if anything were to happen to this little appleseed in me. I pray daily that this little seed sticks around and grows like a trooper. I went to the doctor and they confirmed the pregnancy but we have not done bloodwork or any type of exams yet. My EDD is March 22, 2011. I would love this baby to be born on 3/17/11. It will be the three year mark of me moving to Utah. It's also St. Patricks day and since I'm Irish I think I would get a kick out of that.

New week

Well its the start of a new week. Which means new possibilities. I'm hoping to find out about that job I interviewed for last week. Tomorrow is our standing date night. We would like to go see The Sorcerers Apprentice. It just looks so good. I love that nerdy guy too. We don't have much going on the rest of the week but this Saturday we are going to Lagoon. I'm really excited about that. K (my amazing husband) grew up in small towns and he's never been to an amusement park. He's never even been on a roller coaster. Crazy right? I can't wait to share that experience with him. We plan on eating funnel cake and amusement park food and maybe going to Lagoon a beach. I haven't been to a water park since I was 12. So needless to say I'm looking forward to that.

I'm a giraffe

I decided to start a blog. I've thought about it for years but I just never thought I was interesting enough. I didn't date a lot and my job was boring. The only thing remotely interesting were the books I was reading. I'm not the only person in the world that reads and there are many more people that were better at critiquing them than myself.

Jump forward a few years and now I have this crazy, funny, incredibly awesome man in my life. I have a little more going on. He's a giraffe too. Now I know what you are thinking. "What are you talking about? You're a giraffe? What does that even mean?" I had a job interview yesterday and one of the questions was if I could be any animal what would I be? The way I look at it, giraffes are funny, unique creatures. I would like to think of myself that way as well. So I said I was a giraffe. I also told her my husband only married me because he's a giraffe as well. He gets me. He is funny and unique and doesn't think I'm weird and annoying. He laughs with me at the stupid comedic movies and ridiculous jokes. I couldn't ask for a better man.

Now just a little bit about us. I'm 29 years old and he is 23. Its a running joke between us that I was single because I just needed to wait for my husband to grow up and this way we'll be the same age when we die because men die earlier than women. Win win in my book. K is smart and talented. He can play the guitar like nobodies business. He also pulls random facts out of thin air that no one should ever need to know. Time travel? Oh its totally possible as long as you travel close to the speed of light. But that's only into the future. You can't travel into the past. See what I mean? Useless. He wants to be a teacher. He would be perfect at it. I just want to be a stay at home mom. That may not happen for a long time but hopefully one day. I guess we have to have a kid first. We do want children. We want a lot of children. We'll see how that goes. In the meantime I work in customer service.

I hope that you will laugh with us on our crazy journey together. This is just the beginning of something good.