Do you guys remember these posts? #1 #2 and #3? Well today was my original due date. At six weeks along I lost the baby. Today was the day my baby would have been due.
I didn't know how I would handle the miscarriage. Its not something that a woman gets over. Not really. I fell in love with that baby the first time I saw that second line on a pregnancy test. It does get easier but its still a loss. I still cry once in awhile about that baby. I had a breakdown at Babies R Us while I was registering. I met a woman whose daughter was pregnant and due in March. I then turned a corner and saw little newborn outfits for St. Patty's day babies. I just lost it. The loss is very real and very hard to get over.
On the one hand I miss that baby terribly but on the other hand I am so fortunate to be pregnant now with our little Elizabeth. We are truly blessed to have this child.
That miscarriage in a way was a blessing. It made my relationship with Kevin so much stronger. He is truly my rock. He was there for me to cry on. He was understanding and sweet. I know he felt the loss as well. It was hard on both of us. I didn't want that trial in my life but I was able to grow from it and learn so much about myself, Kevin and our life together as a couple. That's a blessing.
I know things happen for a reason. God has a plan. He gives us trials and struggles so we can grow and become stronger. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. He loves me. He loves my family and he has blessed us with the opportunity to expand that family. I'm thankful for that.
Today is a bittersweet day.
Our ups and downs and how we laugh along the way
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Dear non-pregnant person
I have no idea who wrote this but I love it. I'm just thankful I don't have to hand these out to everyone I know. Maybe just a few of the paragraphs to some people:
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice:
1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.
2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.
3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…
4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.
6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.
7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.
8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
Sincerely,
All the Pregnant Women in the World
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice:
1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.
2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.
3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…
4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.
6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.
7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.
8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
Sincerely,
All the Pregnant Women in the World
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
General update
I went to the doctor last week and she said I no longer have to be on bedrest! So exciting. The contractions have stopped so she didn't feel like just the one risk factor (position of baby) was enough for bedrest. She did say I have to take it easy but its so much better than bedrest. I can do stuff again!
We painted the nursery this past weekend and the room looks great. Its a really pretty yellow color. I found some great vinyl wall decals that I would love to use but they are so expensive I've decided to paint a mural instead. Hopefully it looks as good. Its going to be a tree with some cherry blossoms drifting in the wind in pink, blue and purple. There will be one or two birds perched in the tree as well. It should be really cute.
We bought the fabric for the curtains and cribskirt. I also bought some extra of that fabric for a quilt. If I had gotten those three pieces by themselves I would have spent so much more money. I love being crafty. I got the pattern for the nursery pieces on sale for 99 cents. Its usually 16.95! I was also able to get all the main fabric on sale. Some of the other fabric for the quilt was also on sale so we ended up saving about 40 dollars on the materials. What a steal! While I was on bedrest I started working on a blanket I bought yarn for back in October. Its turning out great and I'm already more than halfway done. With only eight weeks left I've got to get crackin' on this stuff.
The general theme of the nursery is really just a soft, feminine spring. I want it to be bright and sunny all year round like you are walking into a garden. Other than that I really don't have a theme. Flowers and birds I suppose. People have asked what the theme is and I really don't have much of an answer. Its hard to explain. Do I just say its a garden? That's a little odd in my opinion.
I'm going to post pictures of the room so far and the fabric. Hopefully I can pull it all together soon. The first pic is the wall color. It looks a little dark here but you get the general idea. The second is the fabric. I love it. Its just so pretty. The last picture is the general mural idea. I wish I could afford to get a vinyl decal but I can't. It looks great though so if anyone is interested I'll give you the link to the etsy shop.
We painted the nursery this past weekend and the room looks great. Its a really pretty yellow color. I found some great vinyl wall decals that I would love to use but they are so expensive I've decided to paint a mural instead. Hopefully it looks as good. Its going to be a tree with some cherry blossoms drifting in the wind in pink, blue and purple. There will be one or two birds perched in the tree as well. It should be really cute.
We bought the fabric for the curtains and cribskirt. I also bought some extra of that fabric for a quilt. If I had gotten those three pieces by themselves I would have spent so much more money. I love being crafty. I got the pattern for the nursery pieces on sale for 99 cents. Its usually 16.95! I was also able to get all the main fabric on sale. Some of the other fabric for the quilt was also on sale so we ended up saving about 40 dollars on the materials. What a steal! While I was on bedrest I started working on a blanket I bought yarn for back in October. Its turning out great and I'm already more than halfway done. With only eight weeks left I've got to get crackin' on this stuff.
The general theme of the nursery is really just a soft, feminine spring. I want it to be bright and sunny all year round like you are walking into a garden. Other than that I really don't have a theme. Flowers and birds I suppose. People have asked what the theme is and I really don't have much of an answer. Its hard to explain. Do I just say its a garden? That's a little odd in my opinion.
I'm going to post pictures of the room so far and the fabric. Hopefully I can pull it all together soon. The first pic is the wall color. It looks a little dark here but you get the general idea. The second is the fabric. I love it. Its just so pretty. The last picture is the general mural idea. I wish I could afford to get a vinyl decal but I can't. It looks great though so if anyone is interested I'll give you the link to the etsy shop.
 |
| General idea for the mural. Thank you to Etsy. I wish I could afford it. |
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Good news at the ultrasound
So last week I let you all know about my lack of weight gain and measuring small. The doctor wanted us to have a growth scan to make sure the baby is getting all the nutrients she needs. Yesterday we went in for that scan. Good news! Not only is the baby happy and healthy but she is measuring right on track! She's even measuring a few days ahead of schedule. She weighs a healthy 3lbs 5oz. The scan did confirm how very low the baby's head is already. She is ready to make her appearance. Modified bedrest continues.
It's hard to believe that I have a little human inside of me. At the anatomy scan nine and eleven weeks ago she looked like a little baby. Which is what we wanted but yesterday she not only looked like a little human but she looked so CHUNKY compared to the other scans. I know her job right now is to get fat and gain weight but its so weird to see an almost fully baked baby. Not just see it but know its inside of me and I get to take her home in a few short weeks.
In other news, we started working on the nursery! We got the paint and have started clearing out the room. Ok I haven't started clearing out the room but I'm good at directing where things should go. I'm not allowed to do much so I don't feel too guilty about it. We bought and painted the letters to go on the wall for the nursery.
Now on a more serious note, I really thought the scared anxious feeling would go away when I came this close to the end. Lots of women have this feeling early on in their pregnancy. That's why there is this idea of you don't tell people you are pregnant until 12 weeks. No guarantees. But like I said I really thought it would go away over time. However, every time I have an appointment with the doctor or an ultrasound I'm still afraid something will be wrong. Maybe its because of the miscarriage last summer or the scares we've had so far but I can't help feeling this way. For example, yesterday when we went to the scan I was afraid that the cord would be wrapped around her neck. Seems irrational right? Except that there are no guarantees. I do believe this little girl will be a very welcome addition to our home but anything can happen and I can't help but think about that. I'm not ashamed of this. It's just a confession/ observation. I want the next 6-9 weeks to go by quickly.
Now for your viewing pleasure, my chunky baby and the beginning of our nursery decor.
It's hard to believe that I have a little human inside of me. At the anatomy scan nine and eleven weeks ago she looked like a little baby. Which is what we wanted but yesterday she not only looked like a little human but she looked so CHUNKY compared to the other scans. I know her job right now is to get fat and gain weight but its so weird to see an almost fully baked baby. Not just see it but know its inside of me and I get to take her home in a few short weeks.
In other news, we started working on the nursery! We got the paint and have started clearing out the room. Ok I haven't started clearing out the room but I'm good at directing where things should go. I'm not allowed to do much so I don't feel too guilty about it. We bought and painted the letters to go on the wall for the nursery.
Now on a more serious note, I really thought the scared anxious feeling would go away when I came this close to the end. Lots of women have this feeling early on in their pregnancy. That's why there is this idea of you don't tell people you are pregnant until 12 weeks. No guarantees. But like I said I really thought it would go away over time. However, every time I have an appointment with the doctor or an ultrasound I'm still afraid something will be wrong. Maybe its because of the miscarriage last summer or the scares we've had so far but I can't help feeling this way. For example, yesterday when we went to the scan I was afraid that the cord would be wrapped around her neck. Seems irrational right? Except that there are no guarantees. I do believe this little girl will be a very welcome addition to our home but anything can happen and I can't help but think about that. I'm not ashamed of this. It's just a confession/ observation. I want the next 6-9 weeks to go by quickly.
Now for your viewing pleasure, my chunky baby and the beginning of our nursery decor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)